Milestones are particular and peculiar for every human being. Some may count only the cliches, such as losing a first tooth or turning sixteen and gaining their license. Others may seem to count individual experiences as "milestones" in their lives.
When I do things such as going to the doctor or the hospital (and I have done both this week) I remember times when that experience was almost mundane. I went in for a mere bug this week, but when walking in and seeing the automatic doors and the windows I remembered a time when I went for blood tests a couple times a month.
When I see Rice Krispies, I see Katherine's living room and the television screen as I'm playing My Sims in between naps.
When I see my sixteenth birthday party tiara (...yeah, tiara), I remember being pleasantly surprised to see Chase.
When seeing Mel sleep on my bed, I remember reading a note from my mother while I sat on my bed in the hospital this past spring. She told me that Mel was sleeping in front of my door, waiting for me to come home.
It seems usual, but unusual. I will always remember overall events and experiences, but the tiny things are hardly ever relived. They now loom over me and taunt me with mistakes and regrets; however, knowing that these mistakes and regrets led me to today steadies my head and reassures me of lessons learned.
Not everything will be so difficult, for now I am having the best moments I have had in aeons. Moments now seem so much more special and significant, for they make up everything inside of the universe and every fragment of our existence. Some day I will look back at stuffed animals or a Yankee candle, dresses or a key chain, and I will reminisce with a smile and maybe a laugh.
This is life.
Events and objects that construct the human memory and tailor our perspective.
xo,
hk
